This is both my most favourite and least favourite time of the day/night -- putting Ryan to bed. I step quietly into the dimly lit room and carefully walk over to his cot, trying my best to miss the creaky bits of the floor -- I swear they move on me each time! Making sure his Sleep Sheep is turned on at just the right volume, I adjust his sleep positioner and get his blanket tucked onto one side. I sway back and forth listening to the sound of his breath on my shoulder and feeling him rise and fall against me. My cheek touches his downy soft hair and I can feel his hand, clenched tightly to my shirt, begin to slowly release and fall as he drifts deeper into sleep.
I gently stroke his back to see if he is really asleep -- and for the times when he's not, I continue to sway and even softly hum a sleepy tune. It's a rewarding feeling when I can tell it has worked.
Then, when I know without a doubt that he is truly asleep, I guide my hand up to the side of his head, give him a kiss, and lean forward placing him just on his side in the sleep positioner. Sometimes I even have to remain forward as he settles into this new position so I can give him the sense that I am still close.
When I feel it safe to stand upright again, I pull his blanket tight around him, making sure his shoulder is just covered and I tuck in the other side.
Snug as a bug in a rug.
I stand back and gaze at my beautiful sleeping son and wonder how on Earth we got so lucky. He must be happy to be sleeping so peacefully. I can't help but feel a bit sad at this point despite being happy at the same time. I'm happy because this means some free time for Mommy to get some things done sans baby. However, I'm also sad because I have to leave him behind and wait until morning to see his little gorgeous grin again.
I treasure these moments.
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